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Funny Sentences
- 1I stepped on a Cornflake, and now I am a cereal killer.13 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 2Nobody dies a virgin, because life fucks us all.13 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 3Future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 4You all laugh because I'm different - I laugh because you're all the same.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 5Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 6I don't get older. I level up.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 7Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 8I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.9 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 9People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.9 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 10Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there's an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH".11 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 11I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.9 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 12You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 13Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 14Opinions are like assholes; everybody's got one, and they're often full of shit.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 15I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget what it is, the computer will say "your password is incorrect."7 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 16Men are the best cooks, because with two eggs, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, he can fill a girl's tummy for nine months.9 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 17Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 18Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.11 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 19A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 20Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 21Broken pencils are pointless.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 22My wife says picking my nose is disgusting, so now I have to do it myself.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 23If you are born ugly blame your parents, if you died ugly blame your doctor.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 24Let's eat grandpa. Let's eat, grandpa. Correct punctuation can save a person's life.10 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 25Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 26I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.10 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 27I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 28I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 29I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 30When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.9 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 31Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.10 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 32I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 33Velcro - what a rip off!12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 34Never trust an atom. They make up everything.10 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 35Money is not the only thing, it's everything.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 36I know the voices in my head aren't real, but sometimes their ideas just absolutely awesome!9 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 37When I think of books, I touch my shelf.10 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 38All the toilets in New York‘s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 39Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 40Cat puns freak meowt. Seriously, I'm not kitten!10 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 41We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 42England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 43I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 44The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 45He was as confused as a hungry baby in a topless bar.11 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 46I am having an out of money experience.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 47I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.11 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 48Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.2024 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 49I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 50Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 51This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 52How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 53If your father is a poor man, it is your fate, but if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 54Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 55Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of refund checks.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 56A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 57I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 58A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 59When two's company, three's the result!14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 60When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 61Atheism is a non-prophet organization.10 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 62They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 63I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 64What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 65Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 66Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 67Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 68PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 69I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He can stop anytime.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 70The wise never marry and when they marry they become otherwise.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 71Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 72Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 73The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.11 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 74God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 75Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness? There are nomad people there.11 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 76I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 77Bush Win Election, But More Lies Ahead14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 78Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 79The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
- 80I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.12 years ago - Show Facebook Like