Stupid Sentences

1

I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect.

1999

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
2

The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.

473

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3

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

260

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4

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

227

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5

Practice makes perfect.. But nobody's perfect.. so why practice?

206

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
6

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom.

190

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
7

Life is just a game, but atleast the graphics are awesome!

178

12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
8

When I was born I was so surprised, I couldn't talk for a year and a half.

176

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
9

There are two rules to success in life: 1) Dont tell everything that you know.

147

12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
10

Anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never tried to staple jello to a tree.

130

11 years ago - Show Facebook Like

11

Would you like to hear the pencil joke? Well, it's pointless.

123

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12

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

121

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13

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

115

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14

Money is not everything. There's MasterCard and Visa.

110

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15

A balanced diet is a chocolate chip cookie in each hand.

107

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16

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

105

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17

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

95

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18

Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

92

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19

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

90

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20

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

80

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21

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

78

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22

Only drug dealers and software companies call their customers 'users'.

77

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23

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

76

12 years ago - Show Facebook Like
24

On the other hand... you have different fingers.

76

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
25

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

75

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
26

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

73

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
27

If you get this message, call me, and if you don't get it, don't call.

72

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
28

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

70

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29

My parents made me what I am today. I'm thinking of suing.

69

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30

Where ever you go, there you are.

64

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31

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

62

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32

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

62

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
33

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?!"

58

11 years ago - Show Facebook Like
34

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.

56

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
35

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

55

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
36

90% of all statistics are made up.

54

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
37

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

50

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
38

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

44

11 years ago - Show Facebook Like
39

I'm not myself today. Maybe I'm you.

43

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
40

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

42

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
41

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

41

11 years ago - Show Facebook Like
42

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

41

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
43

Deja moo! I swear that's the exact same cow we passed about six miles ago.

41

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
44

Hard work never killed any body. But why take the risk?

39

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
45

“Work fascinates me” I can look at it for hours!

33

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
46

You can't have everything...where would you put it?

28

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47

Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?

27

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
48

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

20

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49

A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.

14

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50

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

5

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
51

Is it time for your medication or mine?

-7

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like
52

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.

-18

14 years ago - Show Facebook Like